Stage Two: Anger. All of my relish is gone. I NEED STIMULATION.

It's official. Everyone around me is back in school and the veil of post-grad reverie is slowly coming to an end. I'm honestly surprised it lasted this long. For the past month, I've basically been drinking, sitting around, and obliviously letting time slip away from me. It was odd because while I was enjoying being out of school, I never realized that those around me were just enjoying their winter break. The thought simply didn't occur to me.

Now, I'm slowly roundhouse kicking this post-grad "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE FOREVER?!" perspective, and adopting a more serious and practical approach. What do I actually want?

I asked myself today, "What do I think is the most important thing on this Earth?"
ANSWER: Education. I could talk endlessly about how important education is to understanding yourself, the world, society, ideas, beliefs, and to becoming a decent human being.

It's funny because I started my college career with the intention of becoming a high school English teacher. After my 11th grade English teacher Mrs. Tate showed me how wonderful teachers can be, how much they care, and fueled my passion for reading/writing, I decided it's what I wanted to do. Heck, I even won English 4 student of the year at my high school (this has nothing to do with anything I'm saying; I just wanted to brag for a second.)

But through a series of insecure thoughts, doubts, unfortunate life circumstances, lack of commitment, and simple dumb-assery, I gave up my aspiration. Rather than face the challenge, I quivered and cowered in fear because I wasn't mature enough to handle the challenge. I also did a great job at making up excuses as to why I didn't want to teach. Oh man, the best one was "I just like English way too much. I feel like it'd be more personally fulfilling for me that it would the students." DUMB. I think I'm ready for all of the intrinsic/extrinsic pleasure, BS, and grueling intensity that comes with being a teacher.

SELF ANALYSIS AND PERSPECTIVE EVALUATION: So, what I'm basically saying to myself is that I want to become a teacher. My current mentality with that as a potential goal really:
A). Uplifts my spirits
B). Taps into a reservoir of intellectual stimulation and drive
C). Seems normal and brings me joyful feelings

This of course would require me to go back to school, but at least this time around I would have a clear goal in mind that I want to achieve.

I believe this is why finding a job has been so difficult for me. I feel like just getting a regular ole job is a waste of my creativity, intellect, and passion. The simple thought of putting my mental effort into being a teacher gives me this unique energy I haven't felt in 3-4 years. What have I been doing?

I guess I'm what they refer to as "a late bloomer."

Since I have this whole "5 Stages of Grief" shtick going on, I might as well relate all of this to anger in some way. To be frank, I am angry it took me this long to come around and realize what's important. I will deal with my anger somehow (Punch dance out of my rage most likely.)

Hm. Well, tell me what you think, internet. TELL ME NOW.